Of course, really, by now, I should know better than to respond to a text from Builder Bloke’s ex wife, but the problem is that she is also my children’s step mother and so I have to try and find some sort of balance.
Her text to me yesterday was a rant about BB and his maintenance, or lack thereof and I responded with what I thought was the right answer – that it was none of my business (I mean if it wasn’t me and he was going out with a 21 year old or someone who lived miles away or anyone she didn’t know then she wouldn’t dream of texting them about it). So of course she then replied along the lines of “oh of course, silly me of course you shouldn’t care that your partner doesn’t support his children – but I am surprised that u don’t care. BB said u wudn’t but I thought u wd. I wd if I were u…..” and so on.
I am “the EX wife” or “WIFE NUMBER ONE” as I prefer to be called and as such will probably always be a thorn in their side. I am assuming it is better to maintain a dignified silence than to get into a fully blown war. I hate it though. It’s not my style. Normally there are three sides to any argument it is said – his, hers and the truth. However, in our case there are FIVE sides to the truth – mine, BB’s, his, hers and the truth.
It is just an ongoing nightmare.
HOWEVER, is it my concern? Should I be taking more of an interest in the way BB interacts with his ex wife? Would she want me to lend BB some of the money that my ex husband pays me so that he can pay her? It’s like robbing Peter to pay Paul isn’t it. Just a ridiculous little web.
Expat Mum
February 24, 2011Ha ha.
You’re doing the right thing. Sooner or later (probably later) she’ll get the message that you’re not going to take the bait.
N xxx
February 24, 2011Oh for goodness sake! Talk about having cake and eating it! She’s supported by your ex AND BB! Try, really hard, to ignore her – or sooner or later it won’t be just you who’s had enough of her obsession with money. If pushed, you could point out that being content with what you have is a far more attractive proposition. In the greater scheme of things she actually has it all!!
Family Affairs
February 24, 2011I agree. Lx
DD's Diary
May 19, 2011I absolutely wouldn’t reply to her at all if I could help it. Particularly not after those comments on your blog from ‘Good Mother’ or whoever ?!? You can’t possibly be expected to act as a referee between her and BB! Tell them both that she should contact the CSA if she has a problem and they’ll probably sort it out between them xx