I have received a THREE page email, with no paragraphs or margins from Builder Bloke’s ex wife. Sent to MY email address. It’s to him actually, but she addresses it to both of us and then puts me into the third person.

It’s a rant all about his failings as a father. How much better my ex husband is.

Well. I just don’t know how to respond.

Whilst silence is a powerful tool, isn’t it rude not to respond at all? And yet, I am quite sure whatever I say will be misconstrued.

WHY does she want to involve me in their battle? It’s been bothering me all day.

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16 Comments
  • Ms P
    October 17, 2010

    Do not respond. You will only become further involved. She obviously wasn’t happy that you hadn’t responded to her last message so is trying again. She will soon get the message and it will be bothering her more you not responding in the meantime.

    It is for BB & her to sort out their differences. You have your own issues to deal with.

    She is clearly trying to get attention for whatever reason,
    do not give her the attention she seems to crave.

    Rise above it and listen to your song ‘f*ck you’.

    X

  • kelloggsville
    October 17, 2010

    It’s not your battle. You will give her ammunition in anything you say. You cannot win this. Silence with her is indeed a very powerful tool. Let BB respond. Alternatively play the “I didn’t receive it” game. Delete is a very powerful button! :0)

  • Expat Mum
    October 17, 2010

    If you so much as click the reply button I will come over there and clobber you personally.
    Don’t engage!
    (Wouldn’t I make a great shrink? So warm and fuzzy.)

    • Family Affairs
      October 17, 2010

      How did I SO know there would be a “don’t engage or I’ll kill you” comment from you!! Lx

  • saz
    October 17, 2010

    I only realised two weeks ago that l do not have to react when l receive an email asking me to ie, call off the CSA, or a text telling me he is paying my rent and thats that…I gave myself permission to not react any longer… We don’t have to answer it and it has given me some power back. For decades I have reacted, now l choose my fights…and feel empowered, l know its a cliche but its true and it helps…

    how long it must have taken her to write that email….time away from her kids, her husband, her poisoned mind..very telling Lu..

    saz x

  • QldDeb
    October 18, 2010

    Not your business mate, let them sort it.

    She’s just trying to get you to bite. Politeness be buggered, she’s not being polite in sending you the email in the first place.

  • Eclipse
    October 18, 2010

    Don’t reply, she’ll get the message eventually, but don’t delete, just archive it somewhere as you should with all this type of communication.

    I feel for you, it’s not nice to be on the end of someone’s vitriolic ramblings x

  • janelle
    October 18, 2010

    yip. silence is golden. print it. file it. delete it. forget it. xxx j

  • Blods
    October 18, 2010

    Don’t reply, she simply isn’t worth your time and energy x

  • Miranda
    October 18, 2010

    I’m with everyone above. Don’t respond. So what if its rude? If you really feel you need to respond, maybe write it all down but just for your benefit, to get it off your chest. Then DELETE it!!

  • LoopyLu
    October 18, 2010

    Yep, I’m with everyone else on this one. Do not respond. You had no place sending it to you since it’s not your business. If she asks why you haven’t responded, tell her that. Flimming exes. They’re nothing but trouble! x

  • Di Foden
    October 18, 2010

    She wins the minute you respond. Don’t ever dance to someone else’s tune. And who cares about rude? Be rude. She deserves it. xx

  • fd
    October 18, 2010

    Agree with all above. Print, file, delete but do not respond. I think good manners are hardly the main point here.

  • Anna
    October 18, 2010

    Hate to go against everyone here, but I see your point. Manners can helps sometimes. Politeness can be quite disarming. What about just sending something like: “Thank you for your message. I would appreciate it if from now on you would send your messages directly to BB’s address. Best, etc” And maybe placing a block on her address.

  • Jo
    October 18, 2010

    If only there was a button that when pressed transmits a message back to the sender saying ‘recipient has deleted the shite you have just spent pointless hours bashing out’ but perhaps more a little more eloquently. Delete. No question.