Before I send an unreasonable email to my ex husband I thought I’d ask if there is anybody out there who might know something about young children and exercise.
Our youngest child battles with his weight. He loves food, as anybody who has read my blog before would know. He is an exceptional cake maker already. He’s been to a nutritionist and we try and keep his portions small and avoid snacks during the day and get him to do lots of exercise every day. He plays basketball and football as an after school activity during the week and plays football on Saturday and Sunday. The nutritionist said he’d grow out of it.
When my ex husband dropped the children off tonight he informed me on the doorstep that he wants him to exercise four or five mornings a week at 7am and that as he couldn’t pick him up I should drop him at 7am at his house and pick him up half an hour later. This would mean getting him up a lot earlier than usual in addition to getting my other two children organised and off to school.
I am at a loss as to how to respond – in my opinion the last thing he needs is to be tired before school, feel as if he’s at boot camp and be given a complex. I am of the opinion that if he needs to do more we get him involved in another group sport. However, I could be just doing the protective mother thing and be wrong here.
Anybody had a similar dilemma or got any ideas/thoughts/advice on the matter?
Help x
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November 16, 2009Getting the lad up a that time of the morning is madness…especially in Winter – he’ll grow to resent you both and it will probably do far more harm than good. Furthermore whilst exercise is good for development and health – there is a point, when they are young that too much of the wrong kind can actually cause damage – to both muscle tissue and bone. The boy is still growing and this needs very careful management. Once again I cannot believe that xxx is being such an arse over this. Stand your ground on this one sweetie – or he’ll soon be walking all over you.
Family Affairs
November 16, 2009Thanks then. I will. I agree with you. It doesn’t work. Lx
N xxx
November 16, 2009I would ask 9 year old whether he thinks it would be fun. I suspect he’ll say, ‘NO WAY!!’
However, if he says, ‘Hey great!’, possibly thinking his Dad is making time just for him, then he could give it a go a couple of times…
Family Affairs
November 16, 2009He seems to be keen to give it a go. It’s all about spending a bit more time with his dad and I guess if that is the only time available, perhaps we should give it a try. Lx
N xxx
November 16, 2009I think that’s the key. If he enjoys it, can’t do any harm. However, his dad should not mention anything to do with weight etc…just the fun of being together and getting fit. As soon as it becomes a chore (7am is dead early!)…then stop. He should feel that the choice is his, without his dad making him feel in any way guilty! BTW I reckon once (or MAX twice) a week would be MASSES!!!
Sharon
November 16, 2009Erm, the ex is bullying you, emotionally and mentally. Ignore him, like, ALL THE TIME! If exercise is on the cards when he’s staying at his Dad’s then sobeit. Otherwise, I wouldn’t even humour him by going to the door, suspect the kids have a key and they can use it. Honestly, any breath spent on the ex is wasted and could be donated to inner city kids for a better return 🙂
Family Affairs
November 17, 2009Yes. I feel that. He stresses me out SO much that I have to work out better strategies for dealing with him/all the issues. Not communicating at all equally has it’s problems though. Lx
LoopyLu
November 17, 2009My son and I go to the gym together on a Tuesday and Thursday and we play lots of badminton. Not only is it great exercise, it’s lovely having that time with him. He’s eleven.
As usual, your ex is being a dick x
Family Affairs
November 17, 2009Thanks – good idea – although I’m crap at badminton – could join a gym with him though. Lx
Jon Storey
November 17, 2009Tell the Ex to get stuffed! If the lad is keen to give it a go, OK but Ex can do the running around. He sounds as if he is on a control trip!
If your boy is being sensible with his diet and tacking regular, worthwhile exercise, you are best part of the way to helping. I would use the time in the morning to get his metabolism kick started with some breakfast, followed by a good walk to school. Nine? is too young for early morning hard exercise.
Family Affairs
November 17, 2009Thanks Jon – yes aiming to try and do a bit more before school – but not that early….he needs breakfast first. Lx