PUB FIGHT

Had the strangest night out. One of those evenings that made me wish I was back in my cotton wool life. We went to our local pub, where I know quite a few people. My pub friends. I haven’t been for ages. We sat outside because two out of the four of us smoke (not me anymore). The dynamics were different obviously because we were with the husband of one of my girlfriends. So when one of the extremely drunk pub friends came out to smoke and sit with us, the husband took offence – he didn’t actually say anything, he just made it obvious he didn’t want a drunk bloke sitting at our table. Drunk bloke went away. 20 minutes later drunk bloke came back and said to her husband “did you just call me c*nt?” “Err no” he said. “Yes you did and I’m going to f*cking kill you…get your f*cking hands out of your pockets and get up and fight” – it was such a shock. I don’t think I’ve ever been so close to fight (except when I was defending my brother from a drunk scotsman). My girlfriend leapt into action, pushing him away and saying “how dare you, of course he didn’t say that, get away from him”.

Meanwhile Husband who was clearly slightly bothered by his wife defending him was taking off his coat. With the help of about 10 other blokes, mental man was removed from the pub and we left through a different exit. Really scary and although I think the husband would have quite liked to have fought with him, it was all so unnecessary – he was actually worried that mental man might have “glassed” him.

Next stop, another familiar bar, full of very drunk and leery men. One managed to pour most of his drink all over my top, another sang “Her name is Lola” very loudly and I told him it was embarrassing enough to know the words to a Barry Manilow song let alone sing it loudly in public. The bouncer in that bar let us stay after closing time for one more quick drink and as we were leaving he started having a huge argument with the owner of the bar.

What was wrong with everybody? So now, not only am I never going to have another boyfriend I’m never going to go out to my local pub again (except tomorrow for a birthday lunch).