I am hearing reports via a friend of a friend about how all her online dates are going. Not very well frankly. You don’t really want to turn up to a first date to be told they are not managing their bipolar phase very well, or “I don’t really do chatting, I’m far more interested in oral sex”. Or be expected to reveal your sexual fantasies after barely any time. Neither do you want to decide you’ve met the man of your dreams only to be dumped after a two week sex-fest.
I know it’s the modern way and something like one in five people meet their partners online these days and I know some perfectly lovely normal people who have met this way, but from what I hear (although maybe it’s because most of my friends going on websites are divorcees rather than 30 somethings and therefore attract a different sort of man or maybe they are going on the wrong sort of sites), but they all seem to be about sex.
I can understand that if you choose to go on IllicitAffairs.com or something similar then you are fully expecting to have loads of sex with someone you shouldn’t be having loads of sex with (I can’t believe single women actually go on those sites to have sex and/or break up marriages to be honest, it is beyond shocking to me – and in case we are not clear here, that is because I’ve seen the fallout of this very thing happening right in front of my eyes). However, it does seem that even if you go on what you think is a “normal” website that having sex in hotel rooms that same night seems to be quite common. I find it all very, very scary. It’s hardly surprising the government are looking into ways to protect women from bad internet offline experiences.
It all sounds a little bit depressing don’t you think?
Or have you had a better experience?
janelle
September 18, 2013hideous! eurgh!. x j
Family Affairs
September 18, 2013ha ha – you not ready then? Lx
Domestic Goddesque
September 18, 2013I met my husband online dating. It worked out well for me!
Family Affairs
September 18, 2013That is very reassuring to hear! Lx
SusannahS
September 21, 2013I ventured into internet dating through two highly regarded US sites in 2006:
Internet Date 1: We ended up at a pet shop buying a goldfish for his exgirlfriend (Accountant)
Internet Date 2: He had very dirty fingernails and revealed that he practiced “black magic” (this one claimed to be a lawyer but I was not able to confirm)
Internet Date 3: Whipped out an S&M contract over coffee at Starbucks within 15 minutes of meeting (Cardiac surgeon)
Internet Date 4: Invited me out for game night–I thought Trivial Pursuit/Pictionary/etc; he meant vampire role-playing game (therapist who worked with disabled children)
Internet Date 5: Dinner and movie; problem was that he was incredibly introverted as a result of having shot himself in the face during a hunting accident as a teenager–not that you could tell; he did not speak so I carried on a 90 minute monologue over dinner/before the movie. (Pharmacist)
So yeah, there are some guys whose profiles are very “normal” and are fun when chatting/emailing online but they wait until you meet face-to-face to hit you with the whammies. I think there are enough success stories to make it worth trying, but be smart about it. I almost always met them for the first date, and I always, always, always made sure at least one of my friends knew where I was going, whom I was meeting, and which website we had met through. My BFF had my log-in info for the sites; if I was going to be human trafficked, I was leaving as much of a virtual trail as possible. Paranoid? Perhaps, but I watch true crime shows; I preferred to think of myself as being intelligently cautious. LOL
Family Affairs
September 21, 2013ha ha OMG they all sound horrendous – love the pharmacist story!! and yes, it pays to be super careful although I can’t see myself being a target of human trafficking anymore – it’s not exactly “Taken” when we’re talking about middle aged women. Thanks for your comment though – so interesting Lx
Laura
September 22, 2013I did Match.com for about 6 months – no real “horror” stories (other than the guy who said he was late to meet me because his flaky eczema had flared up again), a couple of second dates, made a couple of guy-friends I’m still in touch with, then one 3 month relationship which ended as well as a relationship ever does, and next I met my husband (who was supposed to be my rebound guy).
Yesterday we celebrated our daughter’s first birthday.
Family Affairs
September 22, 2013HOORAY!! Love it. That sounds amazing (well apart from the flaky skin one) Lx