Yoga is definitely becoming more popular in schools – in Scotland it seems to be doing wonders for helping the children remain calm throughout the day – there is a big article about it today. Such a great idea. Kids love yoga. It’s also a wonderful thing to do across the generations – mother, daughter and grandmother for example.

This morning my 9 year old told me he was doing yoga at school. He was talking about the butterfly pose and flapping his legs about. We were in my bedroom whilst he demonstrated some of the poses. “They’re really hard though” he said, “look what you have to do in this one” and then proceeded to do some complicated contortion that didn’t really work.

Well, I like to consider myself a bit of an expert at yoga. I kept trying to correct his poses and as usual decided to show off and do a balancing exercise that I’d attempted in my friend’s yoga class a few months ago. I forgot to take into account the fact that:-
a) I’d completely forgotten how to do it
b) I can’t actually do it
c) I have no carpet in my bedroom – the floor is exposed bare floorboards.

So I bent down and wrapped my legs on top of my arms somehow and leant forward taking all the weight onto my hands and promptly crashed forward onto my face. I tried to style it out and pretend that having my face mashed on the floor and my arse in the air was EXACTLY what I meant to do but even my 9 year old looked concerned and didn’t believe me. I think I might have dislocated my jaw. It’s really sore to move and my starfish necklace virtually impaled me under my chin.

As I drove my daughter to school, I told her what I’d done. “I bet you pretended you were fine didn’t you” she laughed, “imagine if you actually did that during one of the classes that you teach. How embarrassing would that be”.

Nearly all my major injuries in life have been because I was showing off. Nasty burn to the arm from leaning too casually over a radiator at school one day and getting my arm stuck (so stuck the fire brigade were called), a broken ankle because I wanted to be the one to jump down the most stairs (7) and now a broken jaw because I wanted to prove to my son that I was really good at yoga.

I am pathetic and deserve to be in pain for being such an idiot.

PS, a friend has just reminded me that I also tore my hamstring whilst showing off playing the Cornflake Game one New Year’s Eve – you have to pick up an ever decreasingly small box of cornflakes with your teeth and can’t touch the floor with your hands.

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7 Comments
  • Female Skier
    May 27, 2010

    I can’t leave a comment as i am still laughing – you are sooo funny L! x

  • Female Skier
    May 27, 2010

    PS You forgot the cornflake game injury! A classic! x

  • Chic Mama
    May 27, 2010

    Ooops- hope your jaw is feeling better now. :0)

  • LoopyLu
    May 27, 2010

    Don’t forget the time you got really drunk, fell off a curb and really injured your ankle 😉 x

    • Family Affairs
      May 28, 2010

      OK this is not good! I am being reminded of my rubbish behaviour – I’m not sure that you can include that in the showing off bracket – more the “total fuck wit” bracket Lx

  • Blaine Towsley
    June 1, 2010

    Thanks for this! Very interesting.